When Will I Learn…

When Will I Learn?…


Do you ever have moments when your brain and your mouth just don’t work in harmony with each other? Your brain saying one thing and your mouth spewing out something totally different? I was hoping that by my age I’d have found a way to coach these two functions into getting along and working together, but alas it isn’t so.  As I glance over to the book in Brians lap I spot the word Algebraic, which of course is part of the whole MATH thing. In the same moment that my mind sees the word, registers the meaning of the word, and tells me that if I ask about it I’m going to get more of an explanation than my inquiring mind really wants to know, my mouth has already opened and although inside my head I’m screaming “Nooooooooo!” the words “Hey, what are you reading about?” are released into the room, and he actually hears them. No, I’m not kidding.


He doesn’t usually hear what I say the first time around (even if I’m sitting right next to him) especially if he’s reading, or listening to the radio, or glancing out the window, or……well…pretty much anytime. If I want him to clue in, I physically take his head in my hands and turn it towards me so he has no option but to pay attention. But not this time. He’s actually quick to reply and begins reading out loud about Permutations which, I think, has something to do with mapping sets of things like CD’s or bad hair days. It’s not that I didn’t or don’t want to learn things like math, but I’m more the type who wants to learn it if I feel I’m actually going to USE it. Besides, it’s not that I can’t DO any math. Why I can count, subtract, multiply and divide quite well, so long as the batteries aren’t dead.


Brian will sometimes question my education. One of his favorite lines is “Did you learn ANYTHING in school?” which I usually ignore, but I’m often tempted to reply “Of course I did. I learned that 1 and 1 equals 2 (see that’s math). I also learned how to read and write. I learned when women in Canada were allowed to vote (1917), the Canadian Anthem..Oh Canada, Our long and naked land (or something like that) and I learned that hanging someone out of the second story window by his ankles to get his pen from the ledge below will land you in detention”  I’d to clarify that I did  indeed graduate from St. Mary’s High School in Calgary, Alberta.  I will admit however that I was what most people would call a typical high school student who paid only enough attention and did only enough work to pass a test. Otherwise it would have cut into my time spent on important things like skipping class, hanging out at the coffee shop with friends, drinking cola and eating French fries while looking over the newest magazines and discussing music such as Michael Jackson singing about a rat named Ben, Elton John singing about a crockidile that rocks and my favorite, Chuck Berry singing about playing with his ding-a-ling. Classics for sure. But I digress.



So after using up what was left of my brain cell allotment for the day, I must have made enough sense for Brian to think that I had indeed (at least for the moment) grasped some of the information, because he said “Good girl”. And before he could get started on the next page, I quickly pointed out …

  1) It’s 11:30 at NIGHT and the bed is calling out to me,

  2) Although I appreciate the effort, I wasn’t expecting a math lesson at

      this time of night and as such didn’t come prepared, and…    

  3) It’s 11:30 at NIGHT… You do the math.


Bed it is…J

1 Comment »

  1. B-J Said,

    September 18, 2009 @ 8:48 pm

    Now that’s the spirit Simone.

    Love you

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