TABLE TALK …. MAY I BE EXCUSED?
I’ve always considered supper time as a time to enjoy both good company and a good meal (hopefully). A time to catch up on the happenings and news of the day, be it BEER marshmallows made in Chicago, Canada considering changing the national anthem to be gender neutral or Rick Mercer freezing his ice off in the Canadian Arctic (All real..really).
USA Today recently ran an article that said couples that eat together stay together because it can “heighten the romance” Watching someone slurp, chew, dribble and save a little something on the chin for later, can be an aphrodisiac? Who knew. Hmmm…Well….I’ve been known to strip at the table because the kick ass chili I’m eating brings on a hot flash and if I don’t remove some (or more) clothing I swear I’ll suffer spontaneous combustion. But at that time, romance isn’t on my mind so much as making a snow angel in the front yard, and even if my other half was to mistake my lack of material for an invitation, he’s quickly returned to reality when I dash for the door and the welcoming snow, leaving him with nothing to cozy up to but his chili, while the neighbours are left with a visual that could take months worth of therapy to erase.
A few nights ago we sat down to enjoy our meal and after a few moments the conversation went something like this …
“Did you hear Rick Mercer choked on a beer marshmallow while trying to sing a politically correct version of Oh Canada as he was attempting to fly a plane in the Arctic?”
“No” … he throws back his head and pops a cracker into his mouth.
“So what causes the steam from your soup?”
“Huh?” … slurp … I respond hoping I didn’t just hear the “School Is In Session” bell.
“HOW does the steam from your soup form?”
“Ummmm … air, and umm heat?” …. Damn bell … slurp
“Partially correct, but…..” and he pauses to pop another cracker into his mouth.
Words like but mean only one thing. More words are coming. In this case, words like conduction, convection and radiation were tossed around with examples involving liquid travelling through space, and objects making contact while passing gas. Then came “thermic” (heat) words like exothermic and endothermic reaction.
Now I admit I was never all that good at science, anything related to science, or listening to anything about or related to science. Actually, it’s not the listening part so much as the grasping it and remembering it part. So, not wanting to seem inattentive as he happily shares his knowledge, I resorted to responses like “Uh huh”… “Yes, I see”… “Ohhhhhhh”… and …“Please pass the salt”.
By the time we’d finished eating, information overload had manifested, and as every woman knows, the best treatment for any form of overload (or anything else) is chocolate. Any doctor without a Y chromosome will confirm that chocolate produces the chemical serotonin which helps us to relax and puts us in a better mood. Sink backed up? Relax and have some chocolate. Unexpected dentist bill? Relax and have some chocolate. Run out of chocolate? Relax and have some Baileys. But I digress… So while he continues orating about things like water droplets and the need for sunblock, I go to the kitchen and bring back the remainder of a chocolate bar from long ago… What? … Ok ok, it was just the night before…Sheesh. Anyway, as I feel it slowly melting in my mouth, giving my taste buds pure pleasure, I wonder if it’s a endothermic or exothermic reaction, only to have my query quashed with “Neither. It’s a physical reaction”. So much for information retention. No problem because by then I was beginning to bask in my new found relaxation. And then I remembered something else…
“Brian, did you know that chocolate is also an aphrodisiac?”
As I begin to strip he exclaims “School’s out!” followed by “Hey, where are you going?”
“ I’m having a exothermic reaction. You might want to warn the neighbours”