I read an article recently stating researchers at the University of Connecticut found that gratitude can have a protective effect against heart attacks, and that people who vocalize their gratitude are not only physically healthier, but also mentally healthier. I also read that scientists have found (and I kid you not) a way to extract vanilla flavoring from cow dung, and that incompetent people don’t know they’re incompetent. But I digress.


After spending close to two years as a Guest Services Representative in a major mall, I’ve seen enough shoppers with not even a residue of common sense or gratitude when you help them, to see that their mental health has been damaged beyond repair.


There are moments when I question my own physical and mental health, and I’m sure others do too, so I thought perhaps a dose of grateful medicine is in order. I also think it beats the alternative … jogging (my body hurts just thinking about it) and Greek yogurt (yuck).


The first and obvious are people I’m grateful for…


– My children, grand children, family, extended family members, and friends because they still admit they know me when we’re out in public.

– My love, Brian and his attempts to teach me math and science and stuff. I’m also grateful that he loves me even when I don’t get it or when I ramble on about one thing and get side tracked to another and forget where I was, the point I was trying to make, or the pot on the stove …Uh, never mind.

– My co-workers, because they humor me, entertain me, and make me feel like I belong even when I lecture them like they’re children.


And now in no particular order, I’m grateful for:


– Toilet paper and the fact that I’m not living in the 1800′s when leaves, bark and corn cobs (use your imagination) were the norm.

– I’m not toilet paper.

– Peanut butter on apples, bananas, chocolate or a spoon. Need I go on?

– Chocolate, because it’s……well……chocolate.

-Bailey’s. Who isn’t grateful for Bailey’s?

– Coffee, because unless I’m wrong (and I’m never wrong) it’s a healthy part of Canada’s Food Guide. More importantly though, in the morning Brian’s brain synapses don’t fire without caffeine, which can lead to him leaving the house with his slippers on (which I suppose is better than socks and sandals), the garbage bag instead of his lunch bag, and getting on the school bus instead of the city bus. And if my synapses don’t get their coffee boost, I don’t do anything to stop him.

– Coffee AND Baileys, because they just damn well go good together.

– Sex. And if you need clarification on that, then you’re doing it wrong.

– Indoor plumbing because that means flushing toilets, hot showers, washing machines. Did I mention flushing toilets?

– The air conditioner in my car. Yes I realize that in Alberta the weather is only hot enough to warrant turning it on for about a day and a half, but for the other 363.5 days of age related, unregulated rises in body temperature better known as hot flashes, it’s a no brainer.

– Electricity, because I’m not really fond of cooking over tea lite candles. Do you have any idea how long it takes to heat up the water for coffee using a candle? Longer than it takes me to cave in and go to the dentist. When the power went out last winter, I tried cooking over a fire, but apparently it’s best done if you actually have a fireplace. My donation to the Fire Fighters slush fund is in the mail.

– Fire Fighters.

– Spoons, to get the last drop of goodness out of a bowl.

– My sixth sense because it keeps me aware and connected to the universe, and I can talk to myself and get away with it.

– Velcro, because some days it’s just easier than tying my shoes and it also keeps the grandkids on the time out wall until I’ve had chance to use the magic eraser which is followed by a few moments of medication meditation.

– Popcorn, popcorn, popcorn!

– Rick Mercer because with all the crap going on in this world, he finds the humor in it, and that always makes me laugh, and that’s a very good thing.

– Laughter. See above.

– Gravity, because having my coffee is just so much easier when it isn’t floating around the room, and it keeps the dust bunnies under the sofa where they belong. The downside to gravity though is that at my age, body parts that used to be perky, now feel the gravitational pull a lot a little too much.

– Washroom attendants. Enough said.

– White out, or better yet the delete and backspace bar on the computer, because without them this and every blog post I’ve ever written wouldn’t make sense. But then again you might not notice the difference.

– My patience. Well at least the patience I DO have because otherwise, by now, I would have slapped the crap out of enough stupid people with no parenting skills or common sense, that I’d be writing this while sitting on a bunk bed in a cozy little room with a toilet that doubles as table and bars for window decor, that I share with a someone referred to as Crazy B*#@!. It also gets me through the myriad of math and science lessons that sneak up on me when I have my guard down. Bless you dear for trying though.

– My sense of humor. See having patience above.

– Any day that goes by without a toothache, headache or hemorrhoids . Oh don’t groan. You have it on YOUR list and you know it.

– Brian’s automotive mechanical know how because I’m totally automotive mechanically challenged. Well I’m not totally challenged. I do know that if it gurgles, it probably needs fluid of some kind, somewhere. If the line where the little gas tank symbol sits on the fuel indicator is at the red bar, it needs fuel, and if any of my tires are flat, is shredding or have disintegrated, then I might want to start looking for new ones.

– Brian’s computer know how because I’m totally computer challenged, and as such, without his tutoring you probably wouldn’t be reading this blog because it would only exist scribbled in ink, on lined paper. You do remember ink and paper…right? RIGHT?


I’m also grateful that I have the sense to stop before you’ve all gone into a coma.


Now I don’t know about you, but I’m feeling healthier already.


Note: No one was injured jogging or eating Greek yogurt doing the making of this post.






  1. Karen Said,

    September 18, 2012 @ 6:42 am

    Loved always you make me LOL. Was so good to see you the other day..we really must do that more often. Uhm..although i have to disagree about the Greek yogurt. I will write you about recipes..XOXO Thanks for the giggle..

  2. Deb Vanier Said,

    September 18, 2012 @ 10:19 am

    Another humorous post…love it and love you girl!

  3. Jen Butler Said,

    September 18, 2012 @ 10:47 am

    First, Greek yogurt is YUMMY! If you get the right one, it’s like eating icing off a cake! Next, I will ALWAYS admit that I know you in public. Also, I miss being your co-worker but (here is my gratitude thing), I am glad to still be your friend. Thank you for a light, uplifting read that made me smile, giggle and long for the day when we can have a coffee/Bailey’s or JUST Bailey’s together. 🙂

  4. B-J Said,

    September 18, 2012 @ 3:17 pm

    I’m SO GLAD that I’m not T.P. too…..:)

  5. simone Said,

    September 18, 2012 @ 3:21 pm

    Thanks Jen. I look forward to it too 🙂

  6. simone Said,

    September 18, 2012 @ 3:22 pm

    Thanks Deb, back at you!

  7. simone Said,

    September 18, 2012 @ 3:24 pm

    Thanks Karen!

  8. Helen Knowlton Said,

    September 18, 2012 @ 3:52 pm

    Heh Simone, love the humour…..try POPCORN & BAILEYS….. Is to die for!! 🙂

  9. simone Said,

    September 18, 2012 @ 8:02 pm

    Thanks Helen. I’ll have to give it a try. Nice to have you as a reader 🙂

  10. Patsy Said,

    September 19, 2012 @ 7:20 am

    I love your blogs Simone you have such a great way with words. Have a great day!

  11. Jack Cate Said,

    September 19, 2012 @ 7:37 am

    We’re grateful for you and the humour you inject into our lives!

  12. simone Said,

    September 19, 2012 @ 11:56 am

    Thanks you Patsy, it’s nice to know you’re reading it!

  13. simone Said,

    September 19, 2012 @ 11:57 am

    Awwww…You’re so sweet. Thanks Jack Cate 🙂

  14. Mandi Said,

    September 19, 2012 @ 8:17 pm

    Awww!!! It would be right if you weren’t lecturing me about something.
    So glad we have you momma Simone!!!

  15. Mandi Said,

    September 19, 2012 @ 8:18 pm

    Err wouldn’t …..Did someone say baileys?

  16. Janet Said,

    September 29, 2012 @ 12:12 am

    Thanks for the laugh. You are an awesome writer — when are you going to try standup comedy?

  17. simone Said,

    September 29, 2012 @ 4:53 pm

    But thanks for the confidence 🙂

  18. Mandy Said,

    October 7, 2012 @ 1:20 pm

    I’m grateful for my brain’s abilitly to quickly banish the mental pictures of my mother in compromising positions that attempted to creep in while reading this post.

  19. John B. Said,

    October 7, 2012 @ 9:20 pm

    What I gleaned from your blog is that without Brian you are pretty much useless…! Seriously though, MML. Can’t wait til the movie comes out.

  20. simone Said,

    October 9, 2012 @ 2:41 pm

    Haaaa….I so love you Mandy 🙂

  21. simone Said,

    October 9, 2012 @ 2:42 pm

    Thanks John, and Brian pretty much agrees with you.

  22. Son-of-Ty Said,

    November 8, 2012 @ 9:20 pm

    Aww shucks Simone.

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