For The Love Of Weed(s)…

For the past year and a half I haven’t been overly concerned with weeds. We were living in our RV, in an area of British Columbia which we lovingly referred to as the rainforest. It rained…a lot, and so it was lush and green. Weeds grow freely and without care in the rainforest. Why, during our walks up the mountain in our backyard, we even came upon a weed that BC is well known for cultivating. When I searched Google on the internet regarding Most abundant weed grown in BC, cannabis was listed as second..and third…seriously. The Vancouver Travel Guide even talks about it…again seriously. I mean their marketing strategy is great if you think about it. Offer tours of the beautiful Rocky mountains and provincial parks and you have a steady stream of visitors. Now throw in a tour of a weed grow-op including a gift shop selling organic brownies and chocolate fudge and bam, tourism explodes. The visitors will then return to their homeland with gifts of fudge (if they get it through security) for their family and friends, plus happy, if not somewhat euphoric memories of their vacation… But I digress.

Anyway, now that we’re back in Alberta and in the house again, we also have a yard that needs attending. The grass is greening up but the dandelions are popping up like weeds (I couldn’t resist). Personally, I don’t like dandelions throughout the grass. It hides the green. However, my other half doesn’t mind them at all. He kind of considers them flowers. So back to Google I went, and found out that dandelions are indeed a weed and as we all know, weeds are greedy and want whatever land space is available, even if they don’t have any documentation to prove that they have mortgaged their soul for it. They do their best to take control over the lawn, the garden and your sanity. They also leave that sticky yellow crap all over your fingers and clothes that are a b#@%h to get out.

Ok, ok dear. In all fairness I’ll list a few of their positive characteristics. Happy? Here they are:

-Dandelions bring ladybugs into your yard and then the ladybugs eat the  aphids that annoy the crap out of you while you’re on the patio sipping Baileys  on ice…I mean lemonade. Which is all fine and dandy until you get a ladybug  infestation and an army of ants show up to deal with them, resulting in an ant  infestation.

-In studies from 1941 to 1952 it was decided that dandelions should be used  for all liver treatments, so long as they were gathered late summer to fall, an  hour before dusk, while in the nude, during a thunderstorm, in a leap year, and  only on days ending in the letter Y.

-Dandelions improve bowel function, helping in both the relief of constipation  and diarrhea. The question that pops into my head, and perhaps yours, is how  does it know which ailment your suffering with?

-Dandelions also help with lowering blood pressure, improving memory loss  and … ummm … I forget what else.

Anyway, I think there should be a compromise between those misquided souls who like the dandelion weed and the informed people who don’t. Perhaps leaving a few dandelions in a controlled part of the garden or flower bed to help keep the aphids down would make us all happy, or at least on speaking terms. Then when the stress of bug infestation warfare gets your intestines in a curfuffle, you feel your blood pressure rising, and you forgot where you stashed the fudge, you can just brew up a pot of dandelion tea, perhaps with a bit of Baileys for sweetner to help it go down.

Cheers! 🙂

10 Comments »

  1. nadroj nairb Said,

    May 27, 2010 @ 5:22 pm

    Those of us that are informed, will revel in the biodiversity of nature as we enjoy our beverages on the patio while gazing at our non-conformist lawns. We will do this in a stress free manner knowing that we are not assaulting mother nature. Those who choose to do battle with mother nature, will not be enjoying their beverages on the patio, because they will be stressing as they kill plant and insects, and polluting the environment while they manicure their lawns into conformity. And in the end, mother nature will kick their asses!

  2. simone Said,

    May 27, 2010 @ 5:55 pm

    Hello and thanks for the comment. I would like to assure you that I do NOT use any pollutants. Anyway, I write for humor sake and that’s what this was all about, just a bit of humor. Enjoy your beverage 🙂

  3. B-J Said,

    May 27, 2010 @ 6:19 pm

    I always enjoy reading your blogs as they are very humorous and help make my day!!!
    Have you ever thought about being a columnist???

  4. Karen Said,

    May 27, 2010 @ 6:53 pm

    Love the blog!! I always enjoy your ‘glass half full’ attitude and wish there were more people out there that thought this way. Cheers!

  5. simone Said,

    May 27, 2010 @ 7:14 pm

    Cheers to my other half Brian too for being supportive in my ramblings, considering he is often the source of my material. 😉

  6. Nerak Ekrub Said,

    May 28, 2010 @ 8:47 am

    Non-conformist = lazy

  7. Deb Vanier Said,

    May 28, 2010 @ 11:10 am

    Love the blog, and yes for most of us that know and love you….we do see the humor! Don’t take life so serious people, laugh, love and live. This blog is not hurting the environment, she would never do that!

  8. Vivian Said,

    May 30, 2010 @ 5:56 pm

    Sorry Everyone, But Dandelions need Love too!

  9. Vivian Said,

    May 31, 2010 @ 6:28 pm

    Dandelions need love too! 🙂

  10. Ener Said,

    June 2, 2010 @ 2:13 pm

    Love this topsy turvey world, luckly I was reading backwards and noted that both Karen and Brian put in their two cents worth, noting that the cost of making those two coins is 3 cents so the whole comment was value added already……alas soon the penny may be no longer so save your pennies but not your thoughts. Lord knows some of us don’t…..lol

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