ON SALE THIS WEEK ONLY….
As many of you know, Brian likes to putter with anything that has a motor and/or engine, or works under any kind of power (Definition of Putter: disassemble, question how it works or if there’s a better way to do it, and reassemble with or without manufacturers recommended parts, including, but not limited to, duct tape, twist ties and paper clips) Although vehicles are his biggest attraction, he’s been known to take apart computers, vacuum cleaners, microwave ovens, RV furnace motors and a key chain flash light from the dollar store.
He and I recently removed the engine from his diesel truck. Ok, he did most of the unhooking stuff and verbal expletive banter part, but I did hand him tools. Now I admit they weren’t always the right tools, thus contributing to his verbal banter, but in my defence I’d like to point out that his sockets and such ( he has hundreds, if not tens of them) come in metric AND standard imperial , I’m not good at math and they all look the same. Asking for one that’s bigger than the ¾ inch he handed back to me and telling me I might have to look in the metric set, is like .. well, math. Anyway, the idea was to swap out one questionable engine for another questionable engine and hope the truck would run. I was certainly hoping it would work because the first engine was a female dog to get out, my math skills weren’t getting any better, and Brian’s banter could be heard in the next county.
So… How many of you women enjoy shopping with the man in your life? Ok, not bad. Now how many of you enjoy shopping with the man in your life for things HE wants? You know, things like, parts, tools, widgets, and gizmos. Well although I don’t often know what the hell the item actually is or what it does, I do generally enjoy shopping with Brian. You see, I look at it from an entertainment angle, and to help get the full entertainment value out of it. the trick is to go with an open mind and a travel mug filled with coffee…or Baileys….or coffee WITH Baileys. That, and it’s easier to curb his desire to overspend. There’s the “Look” we exchange when I catch him drooling over something, followed by “Ahem” . Good communication is so important in any relationship. I’ve seen couples tied to each other with a rope like they do on kindergarten field trips, so the husband can’t wander off and get through the checkout before she’s realized it.
Well Brian informs me that he needs a particular socket to remove diesel rejectors, reflectors or inspectors. What’s that dear? Ohhhhh, injectors. I stand corrected. Anyway, I opted to remain at home while he went to Princess Auto Parts in search of the socket. A $3.00 socket. And THAT’S where I made my mistake. I knew better, and I have no idea what came over me, but I let him go alone.
For those of you who don’t frequent parts stores, let me educate you. Princess Auto is like a Toys R Us for men, only it smells worse and the guys don’t throw themselves on the floor in a tantrum if they can’t have the newest Maxirecorder Vehicle Monitor. Ok, there was ONE time, but in his defence he hadn’t eaten and was a little hypoglycemic. Anyway, this place simply oozes testosterone. You can smell it…along with other natural odours that guys seem to take pleasure in sharing. Where or why it’s called “Princess” Auto is beyond me. I have a theory that it started out as “Prince’s”, someone made a typo and nobody has bothered to correct it because, really, the only word that count to a guy is “Auto”… But I digress.
I’m in the kitchen doing kitchen stuff, and he comes in with a big smile on his face and dancing like he has to pee.
“Come on out and see what I bought!”
“It’s a socket. I’ve seen a socket”
“No no. Just come on, come on, come on!” he squeals excitedly.
How could I refuse such a plea? I followed him to the garage and as he opens the trunk of the car I’m thinking.. It must be a pretty big socket if he had to put it in the trunk. He moves aside so I can have a look, and there in the trunk is boxes and bags of tools and parts that I was pretty sure cost more than $3.00.
“Oh, this was such a good deal” he says as he digs out something called a reciprocating saw.
“Isn’t this cool?” he beams as he shows me some kind of hydraulic thing.
“Ooh, ooh, and these were on sale too” he sings as he removes a shovel, a wrench combo and a leather punch complete with eyelets. Yes, a leather punch with eyelets.
“Um, I thought you went to buy ONE socket. Do you NEED all this stuff to work on the truck?” I query.
“Well no, but it’s all stuff I’m sure I’ll use sometime” he replies and continues to show me a hook grab, a link of chain, a leveller, a 7 amp drill, and finally a socket set. Yup, a whole set. Apparently they were out of single sockets, so he bought the whole set.
“Sooooo…How much did you spend?”
“$416.00 and change, BUT all this stuff was a great deal, and it’s not like I won’t use it at some point”.
Yup, he went to buy a 1 inch deep socket which cost about $3.00 and came home with $416.20 worth of stuff…I KNOW!
SO…. I went with him to return a few things. We then proceeded to pick up a couple of minor items he really did need. He had his list and I had my travel mug. At one point we saw a guy walking behind his wife, who was not carrying a travel mug but was rolling her eyes, and the guy says “…but that’s why I brought you along” as he holds up the shopping basket. He spots us and seeing that I have the basket while Brian is scanning the place for the items on his list says “Look, HIS wife is carrying HIS stuff”. A giggle escapes from both of us, and being a woman and having given…I mean seen the look on her face before, I was fairly sure this guy was going to have a lonely night.
Anyway, after only one “Look” and one “Ahem” we left Princess Auto with nothing more than the things on his list. The truck engine transplant was a success and it runs great…Well kind of great. So, it’s time to move on to the next project. I guess I better go prepare for battle…I mean banter