Humor Keeps Me Real

On The Road Again…

Well we ventured once again to Alberta. I had a growing desire to go and take care of Nolan (grandson) while Mandy and Dave attempted to get some packing done for their move to another house. On Tuesday night, Brian, after sensing my restlessness, not to mention that I kept bringing it up, asked if I’d like to go to Alberta. When I replied YES and asked him when, he simply said “How fast can you pack?” He can be such a sweetheart…J  We were on the road the next morning by 06:45. Our first stop was in Hope to grab a coffee. This is a regular stop for us when we go east, and an important one because coffee must be consumed within a certain amount of time after waking up for the day, or Brians brain synapses won’t function and he’ll just stare off into space for the entire day. I, on the other hand, function 24 hrs a day, although the definition of “function” may be up for debate. Getting dressed in the appropriate attire?…Functioning. Putting one step in front of the other without falling over or into the nice police officer?…Functioning. Putting cream in the coffee maker instead of water?…Not so much. Anyway, our trip was the usual stop every 2 hours so I could pee. Well maybe I should make that every hour and a half. Ok, Ok (shrug) every 45 minutes. We did take a quick detour when Brian took the Jasper turn off instead of the Banff turn off and not realizing it for about 15 minutes when the terrain didn’t look familiar, not to mention another sign that said Jasper xxx km. Why didn’t I notice it, you ask? Well, as the passenger, unless otherwise requested, I think I have the right to let my mind and eyes wander aimlessly. Am I right or what? Now Brian, just say “Yes Dear”…;-)

After seeing the grandchildren and spending a couple of days in Calgary preparing his motorcycle for the trip back, Brian headed off to his parents farm. His attention span with young children, who at this stage can’t debate or discuss the finer points of the Stern-Gerlach experiment (you’re on your own there), sailboat jibs, or fuel pumps, is limited, and the farm always has enough to be done to keep him occupied. So while he was tinkering there, I was pretty much Nolan’s playmate. It was an exhilarating time for sure and bedtime (mine) was a…yawn…welcomed moment. Mandy and Dave even managed to get some sorting and packing done. I’ll take toys in the toilet, reading the same book over and over, lost (but must have) sippy cups, and of course diaper changes, over packing to move, any day. On Saturday, they took a bit of a break and we went to Heritage Park to take the Tommy the Train ride. It began cloudy but pleasant, and then as soon as we started walking from the parking lot to the entrance, which is a mile away, under construction (go figure), and a gravel path (not easy to push a stroller on) it started to rain. Dave picks up Nolan, and opens the animal (I’m not sure which one) umbrella that complete with ears keeps them dry from at least the waist up. Did I mention there was a strong wind? Well, there was a strong wind. So as Dave and Nolan weather the storm, Mandy and I trudge along while Mother Nature not only relentlessly hurls water at us, but adds a good bout of hail…Sting…Ouch! By the time we get to the entrance we’re soaked through and our faces are patched with red blisters. Fifteen minutes later we board the train. At least I think it was the train. My sight was still obscured by the water running down my face, although Nolan seemed to be enjoying himself, and that was the main thing. The rain continued during our 2 hour stay, but shortly after we got home, the sun came out…..arrrrgh. Anyway, my stay was great, and after a few days I boarded the Red Arrow bus for Edmonton and a visit at the farm, where new calf’s were being born, trees were cut down and turned into fire wood, rocks were picked out of the fields and pies were consumed.

Our stay was busy and enjoyable as always, but I knew we had chosen the right time to leave when we got up on Sunday to find our bags sitting at the door. And as we headed down the road I looked through the rear view mirror, and his parents were waving joyfully while doing the dance of joy.

Just kidding, and thanks for your hospitality J

We never did take the motorcycle back to BC. The weather just wouldn’t cooperate…sigh. This means that another trip isn’t far off. What’s that?… You’re selling the farm and moving to Brazil?     

Roll Up The Rim…

Well folks, it is indeed Spring and with it comes the list of stuff Brian wants/ needs to do. First off, we removed the skirting and tarp from the RV which, I’d like to report, was a whole lot easier than putting it on and, thank goodness, a lot less repetitive J.  Then following that was removing the plastic from the inside of the windows. This was gleefully completed by myself (he wasn’t home), at a decent time of day (he wasn’t home) and without the aid of a bottle of rum (he wasn’t h….you got it!). Ahhh, what a joy it is to look through the windows and instead of everything being out of focus I can clearly see lush green foliage, trees bursting with new life, and colorful flowers. Brian mentioned the men around here seem to be smiling more, implying that perhaps THEY could see more clearly too, reminding me to dress BEFORE opening the blinds in the morning…Doh!

So, the next thing was rotating and replacing two of the RV tires plus tackling the spare tire and rim issue. Removing the inside rear tire, which was being replaced by one of the front tires, showed four loose nuts and one broken off stud. Not a good start. Finding the proper size socket for the (I’m quoting Brian here), “locking nut, for the hub bearing”  was our first venture into the world of We Don’t Have That, Try The Other Guy. It took five “Other Guys” to find it, and then when he got it home, it was WRONG. Brian managed (go figure) to get the damn thing off himself, which turned out to be easy and about $33 cheaper. Then on to the problem with removing the front two tires. You see, they didn’t want to be removed. As I watched and offered all the moral support I could muster, Brian worked vigorously, while enlightening me with his extensive use of the English language, to loosen the bolts, and during this process he pulled a muscle in his back. So now we’re BOTH recovering from injuries…I KNOW! But he did succeed in removing the tires and new ones are now in their place. Then there’s the spare tire/rim thing. We realized after we made the trip from Alberta to BC that the spare was useless because the rim is completely different than the other tires and won’t mount on to the hub (It’s a 10 bolt rim and the others are 5 bolt) . Good thing we didn’t need it during the trip! But, really, what the hell was the previous owner thinking? We doubt he even knew it was different as it had the same paint job as the tires, plus the same weather beating, and Brian says it doesn’t look like any of them had ever been changed. The poor guy has been on the lookout for the past 2 weeks, online has been a bust and we skipped once again through the world of We Don’t Have That etc….Phone calls and road trips have been made. Posters complete with pictures have been placed under windshield wipers, taped to lamp posts, fences, and printed on milk cartons. If you or someone you know has seen a Budd 5 bolt rim #R89340, 19.5 x 6.00, please call our toll free number at 1-800-Rim-Find. Anyone with information leading up to the location and purchase of this item will receive a $5000 $5 reward and our sincere gratitude.

In the meantime, what started as a simple tire check and possible replacement, turned into broken nuts, rusted stubborn back breaking rod bending bolts, and a frustrating quest for what appears to be an obsolete rim. And now Brian is apparently doing something with the brakes so he can do this, that, and the next thing with….well….this that and the next thing (I’ve given up trying to sort it out, but I know it involves a leak). As I look out the now clear window, I see the picnic table covered with tools, rags, containers and misc. parts. At least it’s not the kitchen counter. Hmmmm…..Maybe I’ll just close the blinds.