Humor Keeps Me Real

Well hello, and welcome. Some of you have been asking for pictures of the inside of the boat, so here they are. It needs a bit of work, but it’s quite comfy.

galley (kitchen)

galley 2

berth (bedroom)

Eating/sitting area

Head (bathroom)

Entrance from inside

Misc. space

January 20-25, 2009

The sun has continued to shine here in the rain forest, but the damn snow is so packed and hard on the surface, it’s not melting away vary fast…arrgh. But it has been nice enough to venture out and walk around the neighborhood again, and I’ll take advantage of that when I can.

Brian’s been busy working on the boat motors (2) and electrical stuff associated with them, and I’ve been busy NOT doing that. Instead, I decided to try out the oven. I’ve been putting it off because it’s really small, and it’s gas, which means I have to light it, and I’m not crazy about reaching into a gas oven (Did I mention it’s small?) with a flame in my hand, hoping I won’t gas myself or blow me and RV into the ever after, where I’ll be greeted by Saint Peter holding a fire hose while shaking his head and saying “We’ve been expecting you”. Although I COULD end up where fire hoses are discouraged…. but Naaaaa. Anyway I do manage (after 3 attempts) to get it lit and while I wait for it to warm up, I prepare muffin batter while listening to ANYTHING other than CBC radio. Don’t get me wrong, I do enjoy CBC as it gives me stuff to think about I might not otherwise pay attention or give much thought to, like How Jell-O influenced Belly Dancing toJazz Music in the ‘50’s, and I really like The Vinyl Café and The Debaters, but it’s the ONLY channel Brian listens to, so when he’s at the boat, I’ll take the opportunity to listen (if I can get good reception) to some good old Rock and Roll, or maybe even a little County. Yes I said Country, but not the twangy, nasally Dwight Yokum (sp?) kind of stuff. More like the Toby Keith or Paul Brandt kind of stuff, and the fact that they’re easy on the eye, well, enough said.….Ah, I seem to have digressed. So where was I? Oh ya…It turns out the oven bakes a bit on the hot side, and although the muffins were edible, they were a little overdone, and the fire alarm only went off once. I did, however, attempt biscuits next, which turned out pretty good, so when Brian came home he found me and the RV no worse for wear, plus biscuits to go with home made clam chowder, AND the radio tuned to CBC.

Brian wanted to add his two cents worth (which in todays economy, means absolutely nothing…I’m just say___) regarding my earlier comment about CBC radio and his attachment to it. So here it is in all it’s briefness-

 In the evenings I’m presented with diagrams of the 2 motors/engines on the boat, complete with the electrical systems for them, and he explains all the lines coming and going from one thing to the next, etc. It truly amazes me how much he knows about this stuff, and I enjoy listening and learning, although if there’s a test, I’m calling in sick.

I’ve also, been hitting the books again on sailing/boating, and I’m never disappointed with the skill of the authors who write these books, in that they do one hell of job confusing me, although some would say that really doesn’t take much, to whom I would like to say….umm…….Sorry, I got confused, and forgot where I was.

So here’s part of a lesson for your reading entertainment. This is in regards to signals to attract attention when needed, like, oh I don’t know, when your boat is sinking. Now I’ve taken it directly out of the manual (really), and I’ve underlined or capitalized a few words for easy reading (anything to help my readers)…

If necessary to attract the attention of another vessel, any vessel may

make light or sound signals that cannot be mistaken for any signal

authorized elsewhere in these Rules, (there are tons of rules) OR may

direct the beam of her searchlight in the direction of the danger,

in such a way as to not EMBARRASS any vessel.

That’s right; etiquette shall prevail at all times! The fact that a boat is on fire, sinking, lost its crew, or out of pizza, is NO excuse to defer from good manners, and embarrass another boat.

And if a vessel is in distress and requires assistance, some of the required items to use or exhibit include: a gun or other explosive signal, a continuous sounding with any fog-signaling apparatus, rockets or shells, SOS in morse code, radiotelephony “Mayday” (radio required) “N” & “C” flags or flags with balls above or below it or anything “resembling” a ball, orange canvas with black square or circle that will be visible from the air (black marker required), a rocket parachute flare, smoke signal (campfire and blanket required), position radio beacons, white light flashing, etc. etc. etc….I KNOW! With all that stuff on board, it’s no wonder the boat is sinking. Oh, and let’s not forget slowly and repeatedly raising and lowering arms outstretched to each side, although I think that one is used mostly for waving down the pizza delivery guy.

On to something else…

Do you remember the “I’m just saying” ban? Well there’s another one up for discussion…”Ya, but”. Now I don’t know about any of you, but I use that all the time. It’s like saying “Ok” or “You’re kidding” or “Cool”…Like “Ok, what happened? You’re kidding. Wow, that’s so cool”. Get what I mean? So when someone says something like

“We have to go to the auto parts and supply store, where I’ll spend way too much time drooling over plugs, wires, batteries and washer fluid”, you reply, “Ya, but we need to get the car running in order to get there”. See? I’d welcome your opinions as well as any phrases or sayings that you feel should be banned OR resurrected. In the meantime, my pizza’s getting cold.

January 14-19, 2009

Well we’ve had enough rain now to cause flooding in other parts of BC. So much so that Coquitlam is actually in a state of emergency. And yet here in the rain forest we STILL have a good foot of snow…sigh. The new problem is that the path from the car to the RV has been packed down pretty good. So good, that with rain and a little warmer temperatures during the day, followed by cooler temperatures during the night, that path has turned to ice… Solid, uneven, bumpy, shiny, looking like you’re drunk while trying to navigate it, kind of ice. I found all this out when I stepped out of the RV, arms full of items, with the intention of putting them in the car, not realizing that I wasn’t necessarily going to MAKE it to the car…at least not gracefully. My first mistake was getting out of bed, followed by my second mistake of not wearing ice skates (silly me, I should have known better)….Not that they would have helped, considering I haven’t been on skates since elementary school, and even then ….well, not so good.

So anyway… My feet totally ignore my command to stop, and send me (simultaneously) forward AND sideways , my arms desperately trying to hold onto everything. As I wonder if Brian knows the number for 911, I continue on with gliding,  a sow cow, a single axle followed by a double axle and then the finale, slamming easing gently into the car, at which time Brian, standing in the RV doorway, quietly mutters “Be careful”. As I glare  glance back at him, I hear my scores being announced by the judges (2 cats, 2 dogs, and an ewalk). 5.2 for creativity and 5.6 for executing all required moves (while not dropping any items), for an overall score of 5.4.

Hmmm… maybe with a little practice I could make the Olympic Team.

Thursday (15^th) was moving the boat to the temporary dock day.  Remember the boat that sunk and was raised out of the water last week? Well sometime during the night, it broke away from the dock (still afloat with the inflated balloons and the tarp) and hasn’t been seen since. It’s either still floating around, been seized by someone for scrap, or sunk again. So Brian, Mike and I were quite glad to see our boat still afloat and tied to the dock. The day was somewhat foggy, and according to the weatherperson the fog was going to lift in the afternoon. So after helping them get moving, I headed back to Maple Ridge to wait for their arrival, and during the drive, my keen observation, (and the fact that I could barely see the hood of my vehicle) showed me that the fog had gotten worse not better. I think weather people DO know what the weather is going to be like, but deliberately tell the public the opposite just to screw with us. Yes?…Yes. Anyway around that time I got a quick text message as to their whereabouts, and guestamated they would still be roughly an hour. I tried not to worry because on the water, fog is NOT a good thing to try to navigate through, and…um…well the GPS and depth sounder were , well…not working…I KNOW, I know…baaaaaad move. Back at Mike’s boat, I was confident they were ok, and a good hour and a half later, I heard from them that they had taken emergency docking at a private dock they had found after damn near getting themselves turned around. Thank you Abigail for guiding them to that dock, and then letting me know they were safe (That should keep you wondering). So after leaving a note for the homeowner at the dock, they found out what road they had accessed, and before I had my coat on, they had been rescued and were on their way home. On arrival, they were both like two young boys, sooooo pumped up, partially because they had made it, and partially because of their adventure on an unfamiliar vessel, on the water and in the fog, without proper equipment…It was pretty much the blind leading the blind… Mike sitting on the anchor chain cover on the bow of the boat…trying desperately (with the help of the spotlight) to see, while not freezing to death or falling off…Waving his arms and pointing to starboard, to port, to reverse and for all Brian could tell, third base… A few choice words of encouragement were also exchanged, and Brian, who was at the helm, hoped he was understanding Mike’s signals. The goal of this exercise was to NOT run aground, into a barge, OR a balloon filled, tarp covered, renegade boat.

Friday we headed back to the private dock, and although it was a little foggy, it was nothing like yesterday. After pushing them off, and thanking the owner of the property for his understanding, I once again drove back to Maple Ridge to wait for their arrival. I’m happy to report that they arrived safely, and even though we found out there’s a sunken boat underneath our boat (True!), we’re confident it is well secured (6 ropes,

and a roll of packing tape) to the Albion dock for the next two weeks.

Sunshine, WooHoo! The fog has lifted, and it’s warmed up. We’ve spent some time over the last couple of days making a list of what needs to be done on/to the boat, and Brian has started to tinker around with it. My area of expertise (other than passing the odd tool) is watching…which I do it really well. PLUS, when asked to get it,  I remembered where his “bag of stuff” was. It has now accompanied us to the boat everyday “in case” we need something from it, although why we’d need 3 screws, a couple of nuts, a few washers (I think), a computer connector thingy and a twist tie, is beyond me….I’m just saying. Which brings me to something totally unrelated to the boat…The saying “I’m just saying”. Some guy on the CBC radio station took a poll and decided THAT particular saying should be banned, and Brian agrees. As such he thinks it should be banned from my vocabulary and printed word…Ya Right…So to humor him for a little while, I now use “I’m just verbalizing” , to which he just rolls his eyes. There are a few words I wouldn’t mind banning from his vocabulary, but then being male, it would limit his ability to form a full sentence…….I’m just saying. J (Sorry dear, I couldn’t resist)

Hey, guess what we finally got around to doing? Give up so soon? Don’t be so lazy. Here’s a hint: plastic, tape, bedroom window, bottle of rum (or in this case, beer & and cooler). Ahhh yes, the bonding moments we share are surely the envy of all others, who crave the fun, frolic, intimacy(open to interpretation), and insanity that these kind of experiences bring to a relationship. In a short period of time I’ve learned quite a variety of things, from car engine transplants to tarping an RV (in dry weather, wet weather, and snowy weather). There’s a book in there somewhere I’m sure….hmmmm, lets see…Maybe something like “How To Keep A Relationship Interesting And 73 Other Uses For Packing Tape”. Any other suggestions are welcome.

January 8-13, 2008

Well my grandson has turned 1 year old. Good heavens, where has the time gone? I wasn’t there for the party, but I did get to talk to him on the phone, so it’s all good.

So the last few days have been fairly uneventful. The rain has been fairly constant, and yet we still have a least a foot of snow, but we are back to taking a step down from the

RV, so progress is being made. Fog has also been quite a regular feature, which everyone who drives knows is such a joy to travel in. I realize that we could have opted to stay home, but what the hell, we love to live dangerously. We’ve even been known to ignore the “Contents May Be Hot” on the side of a Tim Horton’s take out coffee cup.

We saw another boat that had sunk, and then went back the next day to see how it had been raised. The salvage workers had used big…really big… air bags and then once it was raised enough, they put the biggest tarp I’ve ever seen underneath it and scooped it up. It was quite interesting, and we look forward to, hopefully, NEVER having to deal with that personally. But I HAVE learned another use for a tarp.

I would like to take this moment to say that even though I haven’t beaten Brian lately in Scrabble, I FINALLY beat his brother Mike at Cribbage. Yes indeed, it was a huge defeat, absolutely huge…really, and I’ll revel in the victory as long as I can. Mike, however, has joined a Loser Help organization to assist him in coming to terms with the loss.

Monday the 12^th, we went back to the boat, so we could take inventory of what we need to have on it before we can move it. Oh ya, we found moorage closer to home (Mission) beginning February. We do, however, have to move the boat from Shelter Island (Richmond) by this Thursday. But we DID find temporary moorage at the Albion dock, which is really close to Mike’s boat at Kanaka, so we’re moving it Thursday. Got that? Good, because I really don’t want to explain it again. Anyway, inventory done, Brian then went to work on the back up generator, and no surprise here, he managed to get it working…Maybe, working isn’t the right word…More like rattling, or clanking, or clanking rattlingly. The bottom line is that he did get it started, although at this point I consider it another project for another day.

I don’t know if you recall that shortly after moving here, we played a word game called Play With Words. Anyway, it was a game that I would easily beat Brian at. I realized yesterday that we hadn’t played it in quite a while, so I dug it out again, and we played a few rounds. Well since beating Mike, I’m on a roll, because I beat Brian 4 out of 6 rounds. Now this is a double victory for me because he doesn’t like to lose at the best of times, so the ratio of win/loss in my favor is SWEEEEET…Oh Ya! I have a feeling, though that he’ll be challenging me to Scrabble soon.

Brian enjoying a beer in white "sand"

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Wow, it’s hard to believe it’s 2009. I hope everyone has a great year ahead.

As we didn’t get to bed until around 2am, we had a good sleep in, which is a nice way to start the year. The weather wasn’t bad and the roads good, so we went to Richmond to check on the boat. Since the snowy weather started before we left for Alberta, this was the first chance we had to get to it. Driving along the road parallel to the dock, we got our first glimpse of the boat, and our first words were “Oh Oh” and “SHIT”. These should be self explanatory, but I’ll fill you in anyway. The convertible front cover had caved in from the weight of the snow. It was full of slush and water was running down into the helm/cockpit area. The black canvas cover that encloses the cockpit had torn off (also because of the weight) except for a couple of snaps. Otherwise we would have found it giving cover to someone else’s boat. Remember the tarp we fastened down a couple of weeks ago? Well Hallelujah! It was still in place. Finally, a tarp that didn’t give into the elements. The RV tarp could take a lesson from this one. So all in all, it wasn’t as bad as it could have been, considering that down the dock all that could be seen above water was the bow of another boat that had sunk. Sucks to be the owner of that boat. After making sure the bilge pump was working, the Captain set to work. With a little help from me, and a few things we found on board (some tape, a couple of sticks, a few screws, and a wad of gum) things were set right once again. After that, we went into Vancouver and spent some time with Michael (always good). The trip home was good and I’m happy to say, we didn’t have any navigational problems.

On Saturday we went searching for a new furnace motor. After trying at Princess Auto, we decided to stick to RV parts dealers, and sure enough, we found one. So hopefully it works. Stopped in at the dock and then home, but decided not to work on the furnace until the next day. So Sunday Brian went to work, as I tried hard to stay out of his way, which isn’t really easy considering the space, or lack of it, to move around in, and the fact that bits and pieces were still taking up most of said space. And I couldn’t just move any of it in order to make a space for myself, because then he wouldn’t know where to find what I moved when he went looking for it, although REALLY, how far could it go in here?

Furnace taking up MY counter space

I eventually took my puzzle book, pencil, eraser (a must have), and a cup of chocolate coffee, and curled up in the door well. Ok, ok, it was the corner of the “sofa”, but that’s only because I stood my ground, although I let him think it’s because he had already moved the tool box. Anyway, 2 hours and an eraser later, he was done. When the moment came to test the furnace, I realized that I had a load of laundry to go get. Really, I had complete faith it wouldn’t blow up. I was just trying to be courteous to others who might need the machine. Oh, and great job dear!

Have I mentioned that Brian has a tendency to beat me at Scrabble? I hate to bore you with this trivia, but this really is worth mentioning (at least to him, ha). We were getting fairly close to the end of the game, and I was kicking his ass (3 points), when he (surprise, surprise) gets 92 points. No, that’s not a misprint. He not only used all 7 tiles, but he used them on a Triple word score space, AND it was a legitimate word. I actually stood up and bowed to him. OK ladies, I realize that may have been a little over the top, but I’m sure I was hypoglycemic at the time. And Brian…you can stop smirking now. :p

Woke up Monday to find that it had snowed again during the night. Lots of wet snow.

Global warming my ass! We used to have to take 2 steps down to get out of the RV. Now we have to take a step down to get in to the RV (I’m not kidding). As we have no shovel, Brian (using his improvisational skills) takes the dust pan to scoop his way to the water hose hook up. Now there’s a picture I wish had. We did post a few pictures, although they seriously don’t catch the true scene around here. There is one picture where the snow has completely covered something, and should you decide to play, your choices are:

What's under the snow?

a) the picnic table

b) our car

c) our neighbors car

d) a tractor, a snowmobile, 2 bikes and a wagon

Time to take the soup ladle and dig out the car.

During the night it finally switched from snow to rain, and I mean pelting, wake you up in the night RAIN. Yup, it seems like we just may be back to rain forest rain. The hope is that it will wash all the snow away, although I’m thinking it isn’t going to happen in one day. We did hear snow and water pitter patter around and then run off the roof throughout the night, and after breakfast, Brian went out to check on things, complete with an extended wand window cleaner brush thing, so that he could help to loosen and remove snow from the roof of the RV. I’m inside scrubbing and shining things (ya right), while listening to the outside symphony of slush and water scurrying along the roof and falling off, hitting the ground with a cacophony finale (I sure hope that means noisy). Well a short time later, I hear a large swoosh sound and then a splat. Seconds later, the door opens and…haaaaa…Brian comes in….haaaaa (sorry I can’t help it)… TOTALLY, and unequivocally, DRENCHED. Oh yes, HE, himself, had caused the avalanche when he pulled on the tarp to unfold where it had been blown on to the roof and was caught directly under it. At least I didn’t have to scoop him out. I only wish there was a video of the incident, so I could replay it whenever and wherever it would suit my purpose. Men are such a wonderful source of humor.

Too hot to handle